Fostering Human Thriving From the Womb to Natural Death

Mary and Terry O'Neill

Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Terry O’Neill, not just because he has been with Summit Stages since its second month of publication, but also because it is largely to his credit that Summit Stages exists and is readable. Terry was my mentor who taught me how to be a journalist in 1990. It was from him that I learned how to craft a story, how to confidently interview people with way more credentials than mine, and how to tackle controversial subjects about which I felt strongly, in a manner that honored the dignity of people who believed differently.

Terry has been building the Beloved Community every way he knows how, even while engaging unequivocally on issues about which our society is deeply divided. When I worked with him, he was using the power of the pen (or keyboard), first as senior writer and then as editor of a weekly newsmagazine. Journalism continued to be his profession until 2012, when the publication that then employed him closed its doors. It was a moment of recalibrating. Terry took a trip to the Grand Canyon, seeking clarity on what he was going to do next, and discovered he really wanted to devote the rest of his life to pro-life efforts.

Terry’s commitment to the pro-life movement is deeply grounded in his Roman Catholic faith. Over the last seven years, as a ​blogger​ and freelancer for BC Catholic, he’s won over a dozen journalism awards. Many of those articles were about abuses of Canada’s laws on Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID). But Terry has never been content with focusing on the legal landscape. His pro-life ethic is about fostering human thriving, from the womb to natural death. It’s not what he’s against that makes his efforts so inspiring. It’s what he’s for.

Students from Holy Cross Regional Secondary prepare to deliver flowers to their senior friends

For example, he seeks a society where no-one chooses MAID because they feel lonely, forgotten, and burdensome to society. That’s why he launched Blooms into Rooms, an initiative to brighten the lives of people at risk. It began with just his parish delivering 60 flowers to residents at one long term care facility on Easter Sunday in 1994. It’s been growing ever since. This year, some 1800 flowering plants will be personally delivered to residents in facilities all over British Columbia’s Lower Mainland. The impact isn’t just once a year, nor does it only bless the residents. Staff members have written that they feel seen and supported. Volunteers who deliver the plants make connections with their recipients and come back to visit more regularly. The kids at Holy Cross Regional Secondary School sang to their seniors who responded so enthusiastically that the students returned with another concert that year, and again the following Easter. By this time, the relationship was so valued by both sides that the senior class came back the night they graduated, in their tuxedos and gowns. They wanted to share their celebration with their friends in the extended care home.

For Terry, pro-life also includes creating a community where families can thrive. That was his platform when he ran for Coquitlam City Council in 2011 and was re-elected in 2014. He brought in zoning laws to redress a housing crisis by allowing single family lots to be converted to duplexes or fourplexes. He helped the city reprioritize its plan for a 176-hectare park toward making a welcoming natural space for families, as opposed to a wilderness preserve. He recalls saying, “If they want pristine wilderness, they can drive only half an hour to an hour outside the city and get it. But we don't aim for pristineness here. It's a park for people.” And he reduced the tax burden on families, year after year. This was all possible because he got along with everyone and was able to express his thoughts clearly, persuasively, and without rancour. This created an unprecedented atmosphere of collegiality that allowed councillors with various political leanings to find common ground and work together.

A boardwalk preserves the forest while welcoming visitors to Coquitlam's Mundy Park

Another meaning of prolife for Terry is helping people who are battling with addiction to recover, with dignity and purpose. That’s why he serves as a director of ​Talitha Koum Society​ (the name is Aramaic for “little girl, rise up”). The not-for-profit, founded in 2000 by a woman who was able to arise out of addiction with the prayerful support of her prison chaplain, has a mission to “love our clients back to living.” Terry’s wife, Mary, serves as president.

When we talked last week, Terry was still in a glow over the March 9th ​ceremony​ where Mary had been awarded “Freedom of the City” of Coquitlam, to honour her lifelong ​contributions​ in education, counselling, crisis response and mental health leadership, suicide prevention, teen parenting support, restorative justice, and addiction recovery.

Mary had been reluctant to receive this recognition. She didn’t want to be the focus of attention. Terry reminded her that what we celebrate, we get more of. So Mary agreed to receive the award, and turned it into an opportunity to celebrate the many others who’ve helped build the community with her. Her speech was profoundly touching. I’d like to share some excerpts, giving her the final word.

About her experiences in education: “Whatever contributions I may have made—as a teacher, counsellor, viceprincipal, or principal—were possible only because I was surrounded by colleagues who believed deeply in young people, especially those who were struggling. I thank them for their partnership, their humour, and their unwavering commitment to students.”

About the district’s Crisis Response Team: “Together, we walked with students, staff and families through some of their hardest days. The strength and dignity I witnessed in those moments taught me more about community than any textbook ever could. I share this recognition with every one of you who answered those calls—often quietly, and without fanfare.”

About restorative justice: “That same belief—that people are more than their worst moment—led me beyond the school system and into restorative justice. My interest in this field began with a small group of people, who believed that healing and accountability could coexist…You showed our city what it means to repair harm—with humanity.”

About Talitha Koum: “The women of Talitha Koum—women rebuilding their lives with courage, honesty, and hope—are the true heroes of this story.”

About her personal philosophy: “Looking back, over the years, I realize that my approach has always been quite simple:

• Love and trust God,

• Be kind, and

• Never be indifferent to the needs and pain of others.

  
  

“Whether in a classroom, a crisis, or a community circle, the belief—that all people matter—has guided everything I’ve tried to do.”

In conclusion: “This honour reflects something I have seen time after time: that when people choose compassion over judgment, and community over isolation, remarkable things can happen.

“So tonight, I accept this recognition with deep humility and profound gratitude. I accept it on behalf of the educators, counsellors, volunteers, and community members who have walked this journey with me. And I accept it with hope — hope that our city will always be a place where no one is invisible, where every person is supported, and where everyone is invited to rise.”