Evan Hansen Deserves Forgiveness

Kaitlyn Dever as Zoe Murphy and Ben Platt as Evan Hansen

This is Part II of a spoiler-filled deep dive into Dear Evan Hansen, a musical about mental wellness, our desperate need for human connection, and the courageous work we need to do on ourselves to be able to sustainably connect. Last week, we explored the brilliant way that the songs of the musical led us through its themes. But what about the ending? There was artistic symmetry between Evan’s desperate loneliness in the opening scenes and his peaceful loneliness at the end. But there were also some troubling undertones, as in my daughter’s complaint, “It teaches you that when you mess up, everyone will turn their back on you except your mom.” 

Would Dear Evan Hansen have been better with a happier ending? 

I find it ironic that the last show I analyzed was The Music Man, which cheated us out of the growth we needed to see in order to have any real hope for Marian Paroo and Harold Hill to actually have a happy marriage. In this post, I’m claiming the opposite; that Dear Evan Hansen would have been more effective in conveying its message if we’d been able to see the happy ending, as well as the growth. 

The stage version of the show settles better than the movie version, which is also ironic because in the movie version, Evan takes more accountability for his mistakes and we see more growth. On stage, we see Evan apologize to the Murphys and then we see him again a year later, talking with Zoe at the restored orchard that Connor loved. It’s the first time they’ve talked to each other since Evan told the truth. We learn that Evan has read all of Connor’s favourite books in an effort to make good – as best he can – on the friendship he claimed. And the Murphy’s never revealed to the world that Evan’s tale of friendship was made up – they didn’t want to hurt him. Evan and Zoe both say they wish they were meeting now for the first time. Then they part without any plans to reconnect, but Evan is okay. 

In the movie, Evan works harder to make things right, and he suffers more without any promise of reconnection. He makes a video post revealing to the world that his stories of friendship were lies. He provides no explanation, just tells them “don’t hate the Murphys. Hate me. I deserve it.”  He then reads Connor’s favourite books while being shunned in the lunchroom day after day by the entire school, including Zoe. He also diligently searches through Connor’s contacts to find someone who was actually his friend in real life. That friend sends a video of Connor singing an original song about making incremental progress toward being well. Evan anonymously sends this to the Murphys and The Connor Project, where it reassures everyone that Connor was trying, just like Evan’s stories led them to believe. When Evan and Zoe meet up at the orchard, Evan says, “What I did was the worst thing anyone could do,” and Zoe nods. But Evan is okay, because he’s become friends with himself and is no longer hiding. 

In both versions, it’s inspiring that Evan has become okay being alone. But do we have to leave him there? The unfairness is grating. It’s not like Evan is the only one with mixed motives or who made mistakes here. There are the students who called Connor “school shooter chic”, the father and sister who lost sight of his better nature and gave up on him, the mother who blamed her husband for Connor’s suicide and who unwittingly but effectively pressured Evan into making up stories in the first place, the student who posted the supposed suicide note when she’d been told it was confidential and for her eyes only. None of these take accountability for any of their stuff and all of them continue to honour Connor’s memory, despite Connor’s mistakes, while treating Evan like a pariah. It’s good that they still honour Connor.  But surely, if they’ve learned anything, they would extend grace to the person who brought his pain and his longing for connection to their attention. They don’t. And that is bitter. 

While the musical enjoyed a five-year run on Broadway and earned its cast and creators six Tony awards, a Grammy and an Olivier, the movie was not. It was widely panned, partly for casting issues but also for portraying Evan as a hero. He was dismissed as toxic, exploitive, and a lying sociopath. Critic Sarah Hagi was especially scathing. She wrote that the “film tries to be uplifting, yet leaves you so nauseated and confused that it feels like a stain on your mind”. 

Evan is not a lying sociopath. His first lie about Connor is motivated by a desire to help a struggling family and he does, in fact, help them, just like Harold Hill helps the people of River City Iowa, but with much better motives. Yes, he keeps the lies going partly because he wants to hold on to his relationship with the Murphys. But it’s when his lies first start hurting the Murphys that he confesses the truth, even knowing they will probably reject him, which they do. And then he does everything within his power to make it right. 

Why would people be so brutal towards the movie when the stage version was a smash hit that won so many awards? I think there are a couple of answers. First, with its revivals of long-running musicals from the last century, Broadway is much more tolerant of messaging that isn’t currently in vogue than are movie-goers. And there’s been a quantum shift in our cultural attitudes towards accountability and forgiveness. In the 1950s, the prevailing attitude was that women should forgive their men for whatever offenses they’d committed, believe in them, and that would help them rise to their potential. That’s the kind of thinking that brought us The Music Man. In the 2020’s, we tend to believe that when someone is caught in online misbehaviour, that means they’re irredeemable, even if they take accountability and try to make amends. That’s the kind of thinking that persuades us it’s a good idea for Evan Hansen to wind up alone, while he and Zoe both wish they were only meeting now. 

It’s a broken way of thinking. If we can’t be forgiven for our misbehaviours, we wind up hiding them and running from them (like Evan did for the first part of the show) instead of taking accountability and learning from them (like Evan did at the end). And we all need forgiveness, just like we all need to take accountability. Dear Evan Hansen shows us that we can’t build solid relationships based on false pretenses. But we also need to see that we can build them by facing up to our stuff, taking accountability for it, and exercising forgiveness and compassion for ourselves and others. 

Another factor is that Evan’s self-analysis is convincing to many viewers. He shows no compassion for himself, so he doesn’t get any from the Murphys, from the highschool, from most of the public. His consequences are disproportionate to his offense, and it leaves people thinking he must have deserved that after all.

I wish the show had ended in a way that left us cheering for everyone’s growth and the human connection that resulted. Here’s a rough draft of what could have been done instead, after Evan confesses his lie in a video post.

Evan sits at a lunch table, alone, writing himself a letter as “TO BREAK IN A GLOVE” plays in the background. Others, including Zoe, huddle at nearby tables, clearly shunning him. 

Evan: Dear Evan Hansen, today is going to be a good day. It’s going to be good even if you sit alone in the lunchroom, like you have every day this month, and even if Zoe still looks away every time you see her. It’s going to be good because you’re not lying or hiding anymore. Not from anybody else, and especially not from yourself. It’s going to be good because all you have to be is you, and it feels good to be able to respect yourself. 

Closes his computer and picks up The Little Prince

Zoe approaching his table: Evan? 

Evan looks up, mutely.

Zoe: You’re reading his favourite books, aren’t you?  I found a list in his Grade 8 yearbook. Those are the books you’ve been reading all month. 

Evan: He needed a friend. I wasn’t. But I think I could have been. I’m trying to be. I know it’s not the same. 

Zoe: No. It’s just, I could have read those too, you know? I could have been his friend too and I had a bigger reason. But instead, I’ve been blaming you for lying to us.

Evan: What I did… I don’t expect you to forgive me. 

Zoe: Can you stop? You did what we were begging you to do. Mom says you tried to tell her that the letter wasn’t Connor’s, but she wouldn’t listen. The apple orchard, that was something you made up when she begged you to tell us some good memories.  I did it to you too, wanting to know what he said about me. 

Evan: I had no right. 

Zoe: No, you didn’t. But I think you were right. I think he was trying. I just couldn’t see it until you helped me. 

(Sings):

I DON'T NEED TO BLAME YOU FOR THE THINGS THAT ARE BROKEN

WE WERE FALLING APART LONG BEFORE YOU ARRIVED.

SO HOW DID YOU CONVINCE ME

HE WAS MORE THAN THE PERSON I SAW?

YOU, YOU BROUGHT THE TEARS THAT HE DIED.

I JUST NEEDED REMINDERS OF THINGS I’D FORGOTTEN

JUST THAT TO DISCOVER MY BROTHER AGAIN

THEN I THOUGHT THAT I LOST HIM

WHEN YOU SAID THAT IT ALL WAS A LIE,

BUT THE STORY HAD CHANGED ON MY SIDE. 

SO WHAT IF IT'S US?

WHAT IF IT'S US

AND ALWAYS US?

AND WHAT CAME BEFORE STILL COUNTS, YEAH IT’S SORE, IT MATTERS.

BUT WE’RE WISER. 

WHAT IF IT'S YOU

AND WHAT IF IT'S ME

AND WHAT IF THAT'S ALL THAT WE NEED IT TO BE

AND THE REST OF THE WORLD FALLS IN LINE?

WOULD THAT BE FINE?

(Enter Cynthia and Larry Murphy and Heidi Hansen) 

All: WHAT IF IT’S US

WHAT IF IT’S US 

AND ALWAYS US?

WE’LL DO WHAT IT TAKES, OWN OUR MISTAKES, BE BETTER. 

WE CAN TRY THAT. 

WHAT IF IT’S YOU

AND WHAT IF IT’S ME

AND WHAT IF THAT’S ALL THAT WE NEED IT TO BE

AND THE REST OF THE WORLD FALLS IN LINE?

WOULD THAT BE FINE? 

ALL WE SEE IS LIGHT

WATCH THE SUN BURN BRIGHT

WE COULD BE ALRIGHT FOR FOREVER

THIS WAY

ALL WE SEE IS SKY FOR FOREVER

Evan: ALL I SEE IS SKY FOR FOREVER

What do you think? Would Dear Evan Hansen sit better with an ending more like this? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

---

If you like this post, please subscribe, and send it on to a friend.

If you'd like to support this initiative to gather a community devoted to musical theatre that lifts and unites, I welcome donations to my tip jar. Heartfelt thanks to those who have donated! I greatly appreciate it!.