Non-"Workshop" Speakers Wanted in Philadelphia
- Rebecca Burnham
- Jun 4
- 5 min read
Today I heard a story that broke my heart. It was told by Maury Giles, the new CEO of Braver Angels, an organization devoted to depolarizing our politics. But his story wasn’t about the organization. It was deeply personal.
Maury and his wife Jody (the widow of his best friend), have ten children between them, all adults now. They stay in touch by way of a family chat, called “The Vibe” that unexpectedly blew up last September, after Charlie Kirk was assassinated just 25 miles down the road, at the university where several of them got their degrees. Many of the family were shaken up and checking in with each other when one of the siblings texted, “OMG, you hypocrites. I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal about a homophobic, racist jerk when there’s kids in Gaza dying every day.”
Just like that, the vibe turned vicious. Someone fired off, “Well, at least we know who the sociopaths are in the family.”
The reply: “Well, we know who the fascists are.”
The response to that was, “You’re dead to me.”
It was months before some of the siblings would even speak to each other. They managed to patch things up when they met face to face, over Christmas. But their relationship ruptured again when the US started bombing Iran. As a result, the parents, who pleaded with their kids to work this out face to face, are no longer permitted to see two of their five grandchildren.
That’s what political polarization looks like. Even in the family of the new, red-leaning leader of Braver Angels.
Maybe that’s why it’s so scary for people to engage in conversations across the political divide. Maybe people are afraid of saying the wrong thing, getting iced-out and completely cut off. I think that fear may be especially acute among people who lean conservative because the native language of peace-building spaces tends to be very sanitized and “correct” while it’s also always changing. If that’s not the language of your daily life or of your go-to sources for information, you’re likely to be behind the times. You’ll use words that risk getting you branded as a “racist” or “homophobic jerk” when that’s not what’s in your heart at all. You’re just trying to communicate about your own experience and concerns, while also trying to listen to the experience of others.
That concern is why I love the story about how Braver Angels got started in December 2016, with a 13-hour workshop involving 10 people who voted for Donald Trump and 10 people who voted for Hilary Clinton. The organizers of the workshop did it in a spirit of almost desperation. They knew it could blow up in their faces. But they also knew that something needed to be done because they were seeing neighbourhoods and even families torn apart over politics.
Although one of them was a lifelong Republican, and the other a Democrat, they had both been working in the field long enough to speak fluent “workshop.” But there was a defining moment, when a member of the pro-Trump contingent was explaining that he and his fellow reds weren’t racists. He said, “We believe everybody should have equal opportunity for a job and so on, but heck, if you come with your pants hanging down over your butt, no wonder people don’t give you a job.”
The ears of the organizers, fluent in “workshop,” began to tingle in reaction to the racial stereotypes in that sentence. Their moderator training urged them to interrupt and invite him to rephrase. But facilitator Bill Doherty remembers, “this was not a diversity training workshop. This was not a workshop where he came to develop skills in how to speak in the most sensitive way.” He was there to connect with people he didn’t understand, who didn’t understand him. Both sides needed to be able to show up authentically, with an assumption that the other came from a place of good will. So they resisted their training, did not “correct” anybody’s language, and the participants developed genuine affection for each other without a sense of needing to walk on eggshells.
I believe there’s a desperate need for more such engagement so we can build resilient connection in our nations, our communities, and especially our families. At the convention later this month, there will be roughly 1000 people who gather with a determination to make that kind of connection. Or at least, there will be if enough conservatives register.
Braver Angels is so committed to building connection across our most taxing divides that they will not allow the space to be dominated by one side. Like most peacebuilding organizations (where “workshop” is usually a shared language), their membership skews blue. But attendance at the convention will not. That’s why there’s a waitlist, presumably full of blue-leaning members hoping to attend. And it’s why I keep getting emails encouraging conservatives to sign up.
Whether you lean conservative or liberal, if you long for a world where we can talk across our differences, with authenticity, real respect and a genuine desire to understand, please consider coming to Philadelphia. If finances are an issue, please apply for the generous scholarships that are being offered. If you’re not yet a member of Braver Angels, click here for a free one-year membership through Summit Stages. Then apply to the convention here. When you fill in the application, sign up as a member of the organization Summit Stages (rather than as an individual) and type our name again in the Partner field. That will help you get prioritized consideration.
Beyond that, I’d personally love to see you there and have your support as we move into the next chapter for Summit Stages. We’re launching the Eyes Wide Open we-course during the convention. We’re releasing professionally produced tracks of the songs “Anger” and “Biased” for the course and its companion musical. There will be T-shirts and charms and decals for you at our table in the Exhibit Hall. And, if you hurry, you can join our Saturday afternoon breakout session on “Playing Through Conflict with Improv” (which is filling up quickly). It would be so fun to be together in person.
Hope to see you there!
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